Who Wore the Biggest Shoulders at the 2019 Met Gala? An Investigation

Who Wore the Biggest Shoulders at the 2019 Met Gala? An Investigation

Who Wore the Biggest Shoulders at the 2019 Met Gala? An Investigation

When I think of camp—the theme of the 2019 Met Gala—I tend think of three things: The films of John Waters, Celine Dion not knowing what camp is, and exaggerated shoulders. The first two are self-explanatory, but the third is interesting. Shoulder pads sort of came back in style in recent years, but in a truly campy way: It winked at the past, knowing that the look is sculpted but a little silly, and then dared to be taken seriously. What is campier than that?

And so, naturally, there were some big shoulders on the red carpet of the Met Gala this year. But whose sky-scraping scapulas risked slicing off an ear? Whose precipitous shoulder pads impaired their peripheral vision? Let’s take a look at the largest and in-chargest shoulders of the 2019 Met Gala red carpet, with each look rated out of 10 for literally no reason. (We’ll update throughout the night.)

Who Wore the Biggest Shoulders at the 2019 Met Gala? An Investigation
Who Wore the Biggest Shoulders at the 2019 Met Gala? An Investigation

Speaking of artifice and exaggeration! Kris Jenner’s pillowy shoulder pads nearly distract from the realization that there’s a painting of a much older version of her in someone’s Calabasas attic. 10/10


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Our Lord and Savior Natasha Lyonne looks like a Patrick Nagel painting come to life. 12/10


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Jemima Kirke and Lena Dunham read Susan Sontag in college and don’t you forget it! 10/10


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No offense but if Jared Leto doesn’t tongue-kiss his own severed head tonight, I’ll consider the entire ball a failure. 14/10


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Janet Mock looks so gorgeous that I had to be revived with smelling salts after seeing this look. 20/10


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I would watch an entire Marvel movie about Saoirse Ronan’s dress. 15/10


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Madelaine Petsch serving “Drew Barrymore in Ever After” ethereal shoulders. 30/10


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You know how carousels always have that one horse that’s like a beautiful, aqua mermaid horse? That’s Florence Welch right now. 12/10


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Awkwafina looking like a golden-shouldered goddess. 28/10


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Other shoulder for scale on Miley Cyrus. 12/10

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